gotta say what’s on my mind.
Something about us, doesn’t seem right... these days.
Life keeps getting in the way.
Whenever we try,somehow the plan is always rearranged.

It’s so hard to say,
but I gotta do what’s best for me.
You’ll be okay...

I’ve got to move on, and be who I am.
I just don’t belong here,
I hope you understand.
We might find a place in this world someday,
but at least for now,
I gotta go my own way.

Don’t wanna leave it all behind.
But I get my hopes up and I watch them fall every time.
Another color turns to grey.
And it’s just too hard... to watch it all... slowly fade away.

I'm leaving today
Cause I gotta do what’s best for me.
You’ll be okay...

I’ve got to move on, and be who I am.
I just don’t belong here,
I hope you understand.
We might find a place in this world someday,but at least for now,I gotta go my own way.

What about us?
What about everything we’ve been through?

what about trust?

You know I never wanted to hurt you.

What about me?

What am I supposed to do?

I gotta leave but I’ll miss you

...miss you.


So I’ve got to move on, and be who I am.
(why do you have to go)
I just don’t belong here,I hope you understand.
(trying to understand)
but at least for now,
(I want you to stay)
I gotta go my own way.

I’ve got to move on, and be who I am.
(what about us?)
I just don’t belong here,I hope you understand.
(try to understand)
We might find a place in this world someday.
but at least for now,I gotta go my own way.
I gotta go my own way,
I gotta go my own way...

I AM FUCKING FUCKED UP AND STRESSED AT THE MOMENT. I AM NOT GETTING ANY SHIT COOPERATION FROM THE PEOPLE. [YOU KNOW YOURSELF!] IS COOPERATING WITH ME SUCH A HARD THING TO DO? YOU DON'T COOPERATE YOU MAKE THINGS HARDER FOR ME TO DO. NEED ME TO CALL U INDIVIDUALLY ISSIT. BLOODY HELL DO WHAT I SAY CAN! ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ..................


FUCKED OFF.
BRYANT

Now i am very busy with many projects like Child Development: Application Project, my Field Practicum 1.2 project, my Creative Arts project, the Language Arts Project and also GLOBAL ISSUES individual and GROUP project. some of them are all due on the same week and same day!! now, isn't irritating?

However, at least i still have got the Celebrazione concert to look forward to. its 14 days to the concert!!! Let's all work hard and I shall work hard too!

Bryant

Howdy! I'm still coping with all the feelings and stuff. Thanks to all those who showed concern. =)

anyway, on friday, a group of us. ME, Tim, Aloy, JinJin, Sue Ying played badminton. It was fun! then afterwards, Aloy, ME, Tim and Sue Ying jogged around the track. sue ying jogged 1 round and the rest of us jogged 4 rounds! 1.6km! haha. not bad. it felt great!
then after that, we all went to Sun Set Way to eat a LARGE LARGE pizza. It was so feeling! haha. oh yea. Jing Xiang and Kenrick came along after their activities in school.
Pictures of pizza coming up in next post!

saturday [1st december]
A group of us went to EXPO's SITEX fair. namely, ME, Jing Xiang and his friend, Jocelyn, Jin Jin, Kenrick[joined us later]. Jing Xiang, ME and Jocelyn bought overselves a 120GB SeaGate external hard drive for just $129!! what a bargain!

today!! [2nd december]
SHOPPING DAY!!!
A few K.E people went to orchard to buy our concert clothes. Namely, ME, Nikos, Jing Xiang, Aloy, Pak Wing, TIM, Jin Jin, Jocelyn, Mingli, [Jessica joined us later].
We bought almost all our stuff. Shirt, TIES and socks. all bought!

Pictures coming up in next post!! do check back!


Bryant

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don’t bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I’m not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I’m ok
But that’s not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin’ to do
It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I’m doin’ It
It’s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I’m alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do
What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

(Not seeing that loving you)
That’s what I was trying to do

Feelings... what are they? such a mere emotion can cause us[ HUMANS, SLAVES OF FEELINGS ] to be so troubled, so occupied with it, wallowing in it and not focusing on the goal right in front of us.
Yet again, with such a distracting emotion, how is one supposed to conquer it? Find other distractions and live in self-denial? On the contrary, sticking to that emotion would lead to a likely commotion and a mess.
How will this slave of feelings settle this? Sit on the fine line that separates feelings and being empty on the inside?

AND

Why is Feelings coming to find me at this point of time??

Weihan

it's a lazy saturday afternoon and i seriously have nothing to do!!

here's something interesting for you guys.

Look at this interesting chair which you can find at City Hall Mrt.

Oh wait. It does not pass off as a chair. Not even a bench!
Have you sat on one of these benches before? They look awfully familiar don't they?

You rest your butt on it and you keep sliding down. Right?

so.... let me teach you how to sit on the butt rest.

Two EASY STEPS!

First step, put butt on bench.

Second step, react accordingly.

haha. now. isn't that interesting? haha.

oh yeah. Yesterday, i had an exercise session with my K.E buddies! Namely, ME, jin jin, Nikos, Sue Ying, Timothy, Whey Jian and Yong Hui. Oh yeah. Kenrick too! he joined us later.

We all had basketball. Everyone was like beginner-type for basketball except for Timothy and Whey Jian. haha.....

After that, we had volleyball session. That was super fun. pushing the volley up and hittin it across. haha! I had a 1.6km run+ jog. I AM DETERMINED TO LOSE SOME MORE WEIGHT. i lost 5kg since last month until now!

But alas! we had pizza hut for dinner. Lots of cheese and chilli powder dashed on our pizza. Oh yea. tim left with his friends for dinner, Jing Xiang and Jocelyn joined us for dinner. haha.

here is a pic of our yummy pizza!

That's all for today. i think i shall go tacke Fantasie Impromptu. =)

Bryant

It's been quite some time since my last post.
I would like to give my thanks to those who have helped me through this trouble i had last week.
The first person to thank would be Nikos. He has helped me loads, he is a good listener and has given me lots of constructive advice. If not, my relationship with my dad would not have been better today.
Next, this group of people who listened to me. Namely, they are: the 4 J's ( Jing Xiang, Jin Jin, Jocelyn, Jessica), Pak Wing, Kenrick and Sue Ying. *if i have left out anybody here. Please let me know. i will add you name in. Leaving out your name is not on purpose. haha*

After that day i stayed out at Nikos's place, when i went home the next day after the letter to my dad was given. Dad treated me differently. Initially, I felt awkward because, the silence was too unusual. Thus, i had to initiate a conversation with dad. I felt rather f.a.k.e at that moment. But after a few weeks, things have turned out better. My dad is not nagging me for the slightest thing. I guess, since dad has changed, i must make an effort to show some changes to him. Speaking of changing, i think i MUST and HAVE TO correct my habit of being late. I think everyone around knows. I shall show you guys soon that i will change!

Okay! so now, moving on the long awaited birthday photo's!

The sub comm people!

From left to right

Jing xiang, Nikos, ME, Ming Li,Vincent, Evelyn, Jin Jin and Sue Ying *bang!*

Oh boy! Starting up the fire sure took a long time!

This is the reason why the wedding ring sits on your 4th finger.

Group Photo. But not everyone is in it. The staircase railing might crumple. haha!

Another one! Watch it Kenrick! dun fall!

That's all for the pictures! i will put all of them on my photobucket to view on a later date!

Just a reminder to all Klavier people that. it is 28 days to the concert after today!!!! Are you Excited already? haha. All the best for practicing people!!!

Bryant

=)

Firstly i gotta say that, i had a bloody sore eye yesterday. It's not because i watch porn or anything, but because i took out my dry contact lenses and the contact lense kinda cut or did something to my cornea. it bloody hurt! then in the evening, around 8pm or so, i found out that i was feverish. What a nice way to kick off the week; MONDAY BLUES some more!



Secondly, lets say, on the surface, my dad and i seem to be talking nicely to each other. Lets see how things turn out the rest of the week. If not, something will happen. A revolution perhaps. now things seem to have escalated. Maybe from the start i should have just kept my mouth shut.


Sigh.....my growing up pains. so depressing. i am not wallowing in self-pity or anything. I think can't keep listening to the things every day.

...................

I am in the darkest HOUR of my 18th birthday! EFFING FUCKED UP WITH DADDY ISSUES. I HOPE THE STORM CLEARS SOON. ITS GETTING OUT OF HAND AND OUTRAGEOUS!!

BRYANT
mood: FUCKED UP

I know, the pictures are not up yet. lol. and i have yet to get the pictures from Raphael! Never mind! this week was eventful!
Check out the Youtube link below!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZm-d3ZFRR4

I am not putting th video here because it will totally lag the whole blog. so, please click on the link above to see what i have been doing during CCA! [ Klavierensemble]

Besides that, this semesters will start getting busier and busier. Now, i am actually sleeping 6 hours each day. As the weeks pass, 4 or 5 hours of sleep might even be possible!

Monday= Klavier day!
Tuesday= Attachment day + study with Klavier day!
Wednesday= Klavier day!
Thursday= SIAN day!
Friday= Sian + study with Klavier day!
Saturday= ZOMG. BORING DAY!
Sunday= PKS day and maybe KLAVIER DAY TOO!

LOL! can you see how much my life revolves already MY CCA?!
I LOVE MY CCA! TRULY MADLY DEEPLY LOVE KE!! haha.....

Oh yea. today is DEEPAVALI. And....i still have E-learning to do. ZZzzzzzZzzz...... 4 articles to summarize and send to the lecturer by 23:59...

okay okay...just when i turn 18, so many issues with my dad start popping up everywhere! its either, i am getting more irresponsible or he is getting naggier!!

Anyway, mum's leaving for china tomorrow. and she is having steamboat at home and KLAVIER IS HAVING STEAMBOAT TOO! HOW?


DILEMMA!!!

WEIHAN ZOOMS AWAY!!!

Hey all! it has been half an october since i last updated. Last Friday, 26/10/2007 was my 18th birthday! Everyone please wait a little longer okay? I know how much u guys want to see what i post up. haha. Just wait until i get the pictures from Raphael. Haha. Meanwhile...

Try my quiz!

Create your own Friend Test here

I am back from Klavier Ensemble camp! I am proud to say that the camp was one of the most action packed and most of all FUN CAMP i have been to. COOL SIAH.
Anyway, the camp was on the 1st to 3rd october.
4 of us + me, namingly, Kenrick, Nikos, Sue Ying and ME! has a pre-camp session. which means that we stayed over on the 30th of SEPTEMBER to plan stuffs for the concert audition the next day. IT WAS SO FREAKING COOL! although, something spooked all of us out. all four of us heard a high pitch voice, singing something which did not resemble a tune or song. THAT WAS SO FREAKY.

All in all, the camp really bonded us closer, from strangers to friends and also from friends to good friends! I think, i am more bonded with my good friends now than my course mates! SERIOUS! I don't think i am the only one with this mentality. haha.
Here are some of the new "names" i obtained throughout the camp.
1) 铁扇王子
2) Tua Pek Gong also known as 大牌公! haha!
3) Jing Han

Here are my GOALS for rest of the year!:
1) Either maintain my GPA or do even better and get a 4.0!
2) Compose a song.
3) Improve on my piano skills.
4) Quickly take the Highway Code exam and drive a car soon!
5) .......can't think of anymore this moment........


I DO HOPE I WILL MEET my GOALS!


Thats all for now. =D

Bryant....signing off!

Howdy! I think, it's been ages since i actually updated my blog. haha. people miss my blog mah. what to do. LOL!
ok lah. firstly, the exams i dare say was quite challenging, but i think i mananged it quite all right.
so, yea. here are my exam results...in black and white.
1) Field Practicum 1.1 A+
2) Functional English B
3) Introduction to Child Dev. A
4) IT & Applications 1 A
5) Play & Motor Skills Devt. for Young Children B+
6) Principles & Practices of Classrm MGT 1.1 A
7) Sports and Wellness PX

My overall GPA 3.8333.

yup. there it is. I will have to work even harder next semester if i want to have 4 for GPA.

OH YES. i have a new member in the family. Guess who?
haha.




ITS METTA! my KITTEN! haha.. she never fails to amuse all of us.
However! She gets on our nerves at times, what to do? she is just an animal.


yea! third thing! My Grade 8 Piano Exams has long passed. I wonder how i will fair.
hmm.....

thats all!

until next time!

Bryant signing off!

Bryant came and left in a flash! ~~~~~~~~~~ WHEEEEE~~~

Crap..last sunday, i had a terrible back ache, i thought it would disappear on monday, but it did not. I wanted to go jogging after Functional English lesson. But, the terrible back ache prevented me from doing so.
The pain is bearable but, IRRITATING. I can't sit or stand for long, i can't even lift up my leg while seated without feeling pain in my back.
I am worried about whether this pain would affect my project because, it really hurts. As i am typing this, i am tolerating the pains from my back.
Today, i went to the chinese physician at Ang Mo Kio to see what happened. I was quite shocked when i learnt that, i pulled the Vein or something that was near the spinal cord, straining my LambDa 4 disc or something like that. Scary~~!!
okay, it's late. I AM GOING TO BED. NIGHT.
Buddha Bless ME!

Bryant

OMG OMG OMG! my grade 8 piano exams are coming! so quickly! in september! i have not mastered my songs well enough yet!
but its okay! with sheer determination and effort, i'm sure i can breeze through the exams and score a DISTINCTION! YEA MAN!

I think, when i blog, i would try to blog on something interesting other than just my daily MUNDANE stuff. anyway, just something to comment about. The world is getting weirder! you get maids asking DOGS to eat properly... you get people hugging each other on the escalator even though the distance between the current floor to the next floor is short, why the hugging? Do they love each other so much that they would want to show the "whole world" their love? ....sheesh!!!! >.< LOL. anyway, maybe because today is Friday 13. From my point of view Friday 13 is not a Bad Omen or anything that many people view it as... Friday 13 is just like any other day. Numbers numbers numbers... GEE... haha.... anyway, maybe should the perception of how people view Friday 13. Maybe i should make Friday 13 NO MEAT day! haha!

Today's topic:
Do you assess someone by their looks the first time you make acquaintance?
Have you ever observed anyone or yourself of this behavior? When you step into a room with many people, then you survey the surroundings and then the people?
When you manage to find a sit in the room, you HAPPEN to strike up a conversation with a stranger.
*NOW, PAUSE RIGHT THERE...*
Look at the time frame of between the time you sit down and strike up a conversation.
What did you do before you spoke to the stranger?
Did you stare at the person from head to toe to see how well dressed he or she was?
Then after, did you smile genuinely or just pass off a fake smile?
Did you adjust the tone of your voice, style of speaking or standard of the language used?

Humans are very contradicting people. Verbally, many might say that they do not assess anybody when they make an acquaintance. The irony is, in the person's mind, they are sub-consciously making observations of others and then sizing them up.

On the other hand, there MIGHT be people who don't size other people up such as asking questions like, where do you work? what do you work as? how much do you get paid a month? where do you live? [ from the question where do you live sorts of gives the questioner an idea how rich the person being questioned is. just to indirectly get the person to tell you what kind of house the other party lives in, the next question would most likely be], Oh i see! so you live in a Bungalow right? [Even if the "asssumption" is wrong, the other party would most likely correct the questioner or agree if thats the truth that he stays in a Bungalow.]
Furthermore, such people who don't size up other people would definitely just strike up a conversation with an acquaintance just to widen one's circle of friends.

then again, [off-topic] if strikes up a conversation with an acquaintance just to widen one's circle of friends, then isn't there a motive?

All right! enough of this. Please suggest to me what topic you guys would like to discuss in my TAGBOARD. Haha... if not i shall come up with another topic of mine. =D

Weihan...

I'm back! for the past week, i have been SO busy with my Child Development Module project. Gee! so much work that i worked into the wee hours of the morning... two days ago, i actually stayed up until 4am just to complete it. wah seh! was so tired....
A follow up to the previous entry
I've got better ever since that day. i messaged my parents on their handphone to apologise and tell them my feelings and how much they don't know about my academic life.
I did prove my parents wrong when i got back my test paper for Principals and Practices of Classroom Management. i got 29/30. and for my IT project, i got an A for it.
At least, my hardwork didn't go to waste.

=)

Weihan

How amazing it is that, words get exagerated...for example, i tell someone, i have to go home to do my homework, then the person meets my parents and says i have gone home to study for my exam... since when did doing homework get related to EXAMS? i really wonder.. i am AMAZED...

its true, i have had a bad week, quite some humiliation, demoralizationf from my sports module teacher in school and many other stuffs that will be against school policy to mention.

Just now, like minutes ago.... i was doing my homework in the living room, so i was lying on the carpet reading the essay stuff for my Functional English Module. As i was TIRED because i went to sentosa yesterday, i decided to lie down on the sofa for 20 minutes then continue while i set my alarm on the handphone at 10pm...
Before i could even shut my eyes for 2 minutes, dad came down told me, if i was tired then go and sleep, i not sit up and study... i told him i was tired so i shut off my eyes... guess what he SAID?
You already didn't do well in JC, so, from the way i am seeing things go, i can see that you are going to FAIL POLY as well...
In my mind, i was like, WELL DONE LAH! YOU have GONE OVER THE LINE....
*there goes!* at the fit of anger, i took the cushion and slammed it on the sofa, *BOOM* off the lights and fans. Before going up to my room to get my toiletries for showering i told my father, DON'T YOU CURSE ME LIKE THAT.. he replied saying," but from the way i see things go, you are going to fail your poly" i just looked at him and said,"I WILL PROOF YOU WRONG."

* boy oh boy, why didn't i use my dharma knowledge to stop that fit of anger? now everyone's unhappy...no doubt that my dad can be sarcastic and naggy at times, i should have handled the situation better....* * however, my dad could have put it in a better way than saying such things and raking up he past! our socializing in the past was already not that good and stuff during my JC life....*

Sometimes i just want to tell my parents that, just because you don't see me studying at home, does not mean i am not feeling responsible for my own future, MY OWN STUDIES AND LIFE... How many occasions have you ever found out that, i was studying real hard? When i reached home late at night from school last time during JC, did you guys know that i was studying in school and NOT PLAYING AWAY? Just because you see me tired and sleeping on the sofa when i am studying, does not mean i am totally lazy. I DO HAVE REASONS FOR DOING SO. Do you even know that i have many projects to do? Do you even know that, even when i am faced with tricky or stressful problems, i don't complain and look at the bright side and perservere on? I doubt you do... i am seriously so MISTAKENED...

One occasion, the day before i was having my A level chinese exams, DAD did not even know i was having the exams at least MUM DID... there are just too many things that are in my closet that is kept away from my parents and not told to them. way too many... dad did not even know of my ambitions of becoming a psychologist ever since my dreams of becoming a General Practitioner was crushed away...

Can't i just have some rest when i come home? playing computer games when i come back home after a long day at school and a long journey back home from school is not deserved? You guys do rest after coming home too! just in different ways, mum will watch TV while dad will tend to his garden or watch DOCUMENTARIES....


BAHHH!!!! i can't rant on any further, as for the pictures on my trip ot sentosa and the chalet pictures... JUST WAIT UNTIL I HAVE CHILLED DOWN. THANKS.

Bryant