It has been 10 solid days since I last updated. Much has happened. These few days, my accounts at work have been balancing all the way. That was quite an encouragement to me. I have been balancing in my accounts up till today. Recently, I have becoming stressed up at work. Hating to give out change of $50, $100 etc. last Saturday, there was a sudden rise of customers during 5pm ~7pm. it greatly affected my mood. I was hungry and tired and irritated by the huge crowd.
However, I was lucky that at the end of the day, my accounts balanced...but, before achieving the balance in accounts, the nets machine failed on me…feeling so stressed up already, I shouted fuck sia stupid net machine!!! Slamming the cash board back, feeling stressed up “Ji Bai la!” spouted out from me. All my cashier friends were so shocked that such vulgarities could have come from me. I am one who does not speak much vulgarity to people unless I have no other way to relieve myself.
Again, 22-2-06, I felt so damn it stressed up with the same reason, An Janna was beside me, and she was starting to get afraid by my stress-full-ness and constantly shooting looks at me to check if I was okay. I understand her situation though…22-2-06 was another day where streams of people came into NTUC and started lining up with basketfuls; trolleys of poultry, fresh food, seafood, toiletries and stuff. They really made me go mad…Also, I wanted to close my counter just for a little while to count my money and stuff, I just put down my close counter sign when somebody showed me a black face and told me, “why you keep closing counter?” I told her, I counting money mah! Wait la!
Damn it, it was just for little while! Fuck! Was she mad with me because I closed my counter for quite some time because I had to answer nature’s call? I know that she was the one tackling the front line of customers…its hard, I know. *sigh* I think that Zhi Hao actually was with her… ok. Say that I am selfish, idiot, fucking selfish, moron what ever. I don’t care. I got many problems at hand now. Say what ever you want.

Signing off
tsuneharu… [ updating soon ]

The long wait has come and gone. Another challenge awaits me. I am in a dilemma though. Should i get myself into a Junior College or Polytechnic course [ biomedical ] life sciences department? which one? Both seem attractive in many ways that i just can't make a choice! so difficult. just yesterday, my sister broke down, my mum scolded her.... it was such a terrible scene...why did i have to be involved in it? why? *sigh* all i could do was sit, listen and watch... saying anything could not salvage the situation. all i could do, was to sit, listen and watch...why? WHY was i there at the moment of the scene? *sigh* all this sobbing, screaming still ringing in my ears all because of my future? WHY does it always have to be me, ME, MEE!!!! WHY!?! i don't want to be in this state where everyone is worrying for me... no... i dun wanna. My parents want me to go to different places. My mum says JC, Dad says Poly. Which one? I don't wanna make another decision that would cost me to regret having made through my whole life. I don't know. To think that things would start to become easier after the o levels. Fact is, it has become a whole lot complicated and confusing. One step i make, means, other doors of opportunities behind me have just closed. sigh.....on the relationship problems.
at work, it is very obvious that this girl likes me. for nothing, she approaches me and talks to me. just yesterday, i caught her looking at me. when i looked over at her, she pretended she was talking to the two cashier friends behind her. it is so obvious. Fact is, i have no feelings for her, she is not my type. My solution to it was to stay oblivious to it. To pretend i did not feel anything about her behaviour...
tsuneharu
take care and stay cool.

hiya. its been long since i updated again. very long. i wish all a belated happy '06 year!! may all your wishes be granted and may all be well and happy. And a Happy Chinese New Year to all...
now...i shall go on from where i last left off.
{working days}
december 2005 : i finally got a PS2. it was like a dream come true... i never did imagine myself to own one... ok so....when 2005 was HISTORY, january 4th...dad was bugging me as usual to get a freaking job! gah!!! could take it no more manz, called up my friend working at Toa Payoh NTUC , got myself an interview and there it was. the interview went smoothly. i got the job! i could not freaking belief myself!
[ everything that happened in between 5th to 8th january is not important ] 9th january, i did my first day training, my shi fu was Yi Peng... the job was rather fun....scan scan SCAN!!! cool! cool; though it was tiring.....i began loving my job... i remembered, that first time 1.30pm, in the office, i was the newest member of the ntuc family, everyone laid their eyes on me and looked rather puzzled. it was ok though....i kept quite and talked to Yi Peng, edwin and wei xing only. haha...yea...i was rather anti-social back then. after my training , i finally could open my own counter....yay! *runs around in circles holding flags waving 'em everywhere crazily* the rest of my days at work were kinda the-same-old-thing. couting float, supervisor card, cashier card....scan and pack, member card? dun have ah? IC oso can... no member? *kaoz, waste my time asking* here is your change, thank you....[end of day] settlement, pack float, count vouchers, cashcard and nets.... the same ol' things... slowly, i lost interest in the job.... every one hour crawled past with me saying sianz, tired siah! . kaoz, stupid customer buy so little thing give 50 bucks. i wanna go home now.
all the same stuff.... new year shopping was drawing near.... every chinese local bought basketfull of goodies and snack...preparing for the coming CNY. buying things as if their house had run out of everything to eat and use.... lmao. so funny...
during the last 2 days of the night shopping in NTUC, i was stationed at LELONG! WTH!!! 2 consecutive days!!! i seriously hurt my back and wrist....so dammmmmmmitttt painfull.
On CNY eve, i almost fainted due to fatigue. felt dizzy though out the whole day...
CNY liao! playing and eating all the way.....
fourth day of new year, i was back to work, i forgot all the department codes and fruit prices....omg...lol yea..
now, it is the 7th Feb, i was talking to edwin earlier on... [1.21 am] both of us wanna get contacts. now ying xiang is online at the moment, chatting with her almost around the same time edwin started chatting with me. lol. we got so many things in common...
i think i am having some personal problems...i need someone to listen to my problems and find a solution to it. problem is, who? do i really know myself well enough? or am i just bluffing and comforting myself its ok..never mind one...??
hm.... i got no idea.....
manz....i am in a dilemma....this or that? can i have both? so many problems...i make myself sound like a girl...lol...for goodness fucking sake!!
i just remembered....one month back, i promised my friend to write a fiction story....up till now, i still haven write...lol...any ideas? wanna know more about the story, talk to me at msn...hahaaz...
man! its late, i have work at 2pm!! gotta rest!
signing off,
best regards to all!!
tsuneharu [... g e o s t i g ma ....]