erm. happy new year?! lol. its kinda late. yea, i know. have been finding time to update.
during the december holidays, i have been considering and pondering repeatedly for days before sleeping every night about my future.
questions have been going through my head " what is it that i want to achieve in life?" " do i picture myself doing this in future?" "Am i doing this because of a safe future with a good salary?" "Am i doing this because of other people's expectations of me?" " am i doing this because of myself, my own passion?"
It was a childhood dream of mine to study medicine and become a doctor to benefit as many people as i can... now, it seems nearly impossible for me even to get near it. I can't take sciences as i am not allowed to, furthermore, i did not take biology...
this dream has become so far, blurred, so unreachable.....slowly, this childhood dream of mine would slowly fade away just like how leaves on the maple trees slowly turn red, drop and blown away by the wind into the horizon, never to be seen again...
During this phase of my life, i considered so many factors, did cost-benefit analysis, studied my character, the plus points of myself... many years, i was an introvert physically, never did i hear my inner-self, never did i give my extrovert part of myself to get released from this psychological barrier that prevented me from socializing, from getting the courage to make new friends and ask for what i want just like a prisoner locked up in a gloomy cell, looking forward to be freed one day.
Going to JC has built me up in character and maturity. i dare say it did. i made new friends, released my inner-self and saw a whole new perspective in life. i considered being a psychologist because of how i liked social communication, helping out stressed people, knowing more about society's problems....
i never saw this coming.....
[to be continued....*blast it! its so late already!*]